Before writing, my thoughts were exhausted, while writing, my thoughts flowed like a spring, and after finishing, I felt relaxed and joyful. This is the charm of writing for me~
Recently, I finally finished reading "The Courage to Be Disliked." In fact, I started reading this book three months ago, and WeChat Reading shows that I spent 7 hours and 31 minutes to finish it, so on average, I read for 5 minutes a day. It seems that I have quite a sense of relaxation when it comes to reading.
(Relaxation is a term that was quite popular recently, "Relaxation means letting go of the desire to control everything and more calmly accepting the natural occurrence of everything. This, of course, also includes accepting a 'non-relaxed' self." — Get News)
1#
To me, the whole book is actually about how to live less exhaustively and how to live more happily.
In the earlier parts of the book, the author mainly poses questions and viewpoints. Here, I have summarized some of the author's points:
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"A person with a history of domestic violence who stays indoors for a long time is not staying indoors because of their experience of domestic violence, but because they have a certain purpose, for example, they simply do not want to go out, thus creating feelings of unease."
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"All troubles come from interpersonal relationships, and the source of happiness also lies in interpersonal relationships."
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"Under a reward-and-punishment education system, a wrong way of living emerges, which is 'If no one praises me, I won't do good deeds,' or 'If no one punishes me, I will do bad deeds.'"
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"How can a person gain 'courage'? A person can only gain courage when they feel they have value, and as long as we 'exist here,' we are already useful and valuable to others."
These viewpoints may seem difficult to accept or even absurd at first glance, but they are well substantiated in the book.
The core point the author wants to express is to face oneself, accept oneself, and be a person who dares to be disliked.
This also reminds me of a lyric by Zhao Lei: "Many people in this world laugh at me, and you are just one of them."
2#
At the end of the book, there is a viewpoint I really like: Life is a series of moments.
How to understand this?
We should imagine life as a series of continuous points, rather than just a starting point and an endpoint; otherwise, it would be like saying that not reaching the endpoint means a failed life.
Take travel as an example: the moment you step out of your home, the journey has already begun, and every moment on the way to the destination is part of the journey.
This reminds me of my graduation trip — a self-driving tour of the Western Sichuan Loop. The characteristic of traveling in Western Sichuan is that the distances between each scenic spot are quite far, and the journey to the next spot usually takes over 5 hours. At that time, I always expected how beautiful the scenery would be after reaching the spot, only to find that the most beautiful scenery is on the road — the golden snow-capped mountains under the bright sun, the vast green grasslands, and the misty, fairy-tale-like mountain roads...
So, seriously enjoying the present moment is a form of happiness.